In the middle of World War II, American pilots flying dangerous bombing missions over enemy territory created a secretive society. To join, candidates answered seemingly vulgar riddles with innocent answers. If approached later and asked a specific question, failing to give a profane response meant buying the house a round of drinks. This informal club began as a wartime distraction, but it soon infiltrated the highest levels of the United States government and eventually made its way into outer space.
Escaping Wartime Dangers
Captain Hugh P. McGowan of the U.S. Army Air Corps 8th Air Force founded the club with several other pilots. Stationed in England, these men flew perilous daytime missions over Hitler’s Third Reich. Seeking a fun distraction from the daily horrors, they noticed local pubs hosting groups like the “Ancient Order of Foresters.”
Captain McGowan devised the name “Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles.” The men’s group had no constitution or by-laws; it was purely an informal drinking club offering camaraderie. After the war, the group spread rapidly across America through VFW posts, Masonic groups, and colleges.
Lewd Riddles and Barroom Rules
Becoming a Turtle required passing a unique induction test. Prospective members answered three to four qualifying riddles. Each question strongly suggested a lewd answer, but the correct answer was entirely innocuous. For instance, candidates were asked, “What goes in hard and comes out soft?” The correct answer was “gum.”
Once inducted, members operated under a strict rule. It was assumed all Turtles owned a jackass. If anyone asked a member, “Are you a Turtle?”, the member had to reply loudly, “You bet your sweet ass I am.” If the member refused to say the phrase, they had to buy a drink for the questioner or every Turtle present.
Reaching the Oval Office and Orbit
The club’s influence reached far beyond local taverns. A reporter allegedly asked President John F. Kennedy if he was a Turtle during a press conference. Kennedy avoided the profane response, replying, “I’ll buy you your drink later.”
The order also infiltrated the United States space program. During the 1962 Mercury-Atlas 8 mission, ground controller Deke Slayton asked astronaut Wally Schirra if he was a Turtle.
Knowing his communications were broadcast worldwide, Schirra temporarily disabled his microphone to record the required response privately. He later played the tape for officials aboard the USS Kearsarge recovery ship. During the Apollo 7 mission in 1968, Schirra flipped the script, asking Slayton the question during a live broadcast. The Smithsonian holds an official Interstellar Association of Turtles membership card.
Pop Culture Appearances
The group appeared in popular media. In 1969, The Brotherhood released a regional hit record titled “Are You a Turtle”. Authors Robert Shea, Robert Anton Wilson, and Kurt Vonnegut all referenced the organization’s unique initiation rituals in their novels. In the 2002 film Master of Disguise, Dana Carvey famously asked, “Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?”